tesco

  • I’ll pay for it.

    Me: What’s that noise? Mum: It’s just the trough falling out the car. Me: The what now? Mum: The trough. Me: The trough? There’s no trough in the car. Mum: The…trow. Me: Trow? Do you mean trowel?

  • Merry Christmas, Mum

    Even before I left, I knew doing the Christmas shopping with my mum wasn’t a good idea. I was proven right. First, we went to Lidl. “What’s that?” “A jigsaw.” “Oh. That’s nice. What’s that?” “A calligraphy set.” “….” “A fancy pen.”

  • No one expects…

    Another Tesco trip, this time with my daughter as well as mum. Mum: So, will you remember to order one of they nighties from Markies for me? Me: Yes, Mum. I’ll do it tonight. Mum: I’ve got loads of pyjamas, but I don’t

  • Heinz Cream Crackers

    Me: Mum, do you need anything in this aisle? Mum: No, I’ve got plenty of biscuits. Me: This is the soup aisle. Mum: No. Unless they have Scotch Broth. Is that the one I like? Me: *mutters and throws cans into trolley*

  • Smelly People

    Before I could drive or had a car of my own, I relied on public transport. There were many things I liked about taking the bus everywhere. I could have a glass of wine with lunch and not have to worry about driving home; I could spend the journey listening to music or day-dreaming about…

  • Check Mate

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] We were wandering through the Homeware section of Tesco when we came across some ornaments in the form of chess pieces. Mum: That’s nice. What is it? Me: A queen. Mum: A queen? (she picks it up) A QUEEN? Me: Yes, mum, it’s a chess piece. Mum: Oh, right. What do you…

  • Arthur Miller’s Turning In His Grave

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] Another Tuesday, another tesco day with mum. Mum: Are you getting anything in Tesco today? Me: Yes, a few things. I need tea, bread, rolls…and if Claire had her way I’d be bringing home a pony. Mum: Phoney? Me: PONY! Mum: What? Me: A pony! It’s for Claire. She always asks me…

  • Bonfire of the Insanities

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] Mum got into the car for the trip to Tesco. Mum: There’s something burning. Me: I can smell it. Mum: Yeah – it’s no a fire it’s just stuff burning. Me: What kind of stuff? Mum: You know, the stuff you burn at Christmas and New Year. Me: ….. Mum: You know.…

  • Cheep Cheep!

    We walked along the pet food aisle in Tesco and got to the end when we had this conversation. Mum: They don’t have that stuff for my bird. Me: What stuff? Mum: Millet. Me: They don’t sell millet here. Do you mean Trill?* Mum: No. Millet. Millet. Me: From here? Mum: Yes. Millet. For my…

  • £29.87

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] At Tesco today: Cashier: ‘That’s £29.87, please.’ Mum: ‘£39.27?’ Cashier: ‘No, £29.87.’ Mum: ‘£27.99?’ Cashier: ‘Do you have your own bags?’ Mum: ‘I’m very well, thanks.’ Me: ‘I need booze.’ [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com]