mum

  • Bonfire of the Insanities

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] Mum got into the car for the trip to Tesco. Mum: There’s something burning. Me: I can smell it. Mum: Yeah – it’s no a fire it’s just stuff burning. Me: What kind of stuff? Mum: You know, the stuff you burn at Christmas and New Year. Me: ….. Mum: You know.…

  • Cheep Cheep!

    We walked along the pet food aisle in Tesco and got to the end when we had this conversation. Mum: They don’t have that stuff for my bird. Me: What stuff? Mum: Millet. Me: They don’t sell millet here. Do you mean Trill?* Mum: No. Millet. Millet. Me: From here? Mum: Yes. Millet. For my…

  • £29.87

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] At Tesco today: Cashier: ‘That’s £29.87, please.’ Mum: ‘£39.27?’ Cashier: ‘No, £29.87.’ Mum: ‘£27.99?’ Cashier: ‘Do you have your own bags?’ Mum: ‘I’m very well, thanks.’ Me: ‘I need booze.’ [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com]

  • This cow is small, those ones outside are faraway….

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] Today was one of those days when my mum was comedy gold. I had to go into town to return a pair of trousers my daughter bought in Sainsbury’s so I thought we’d take mum with us for a few hours out of the house. We live in a small village about…

  • Simples!

    [tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] A few days ago I was showing my mum some of the pictures I took on our holiday to York in August. We got to the many, many pictures I took of meerkats at the wildlife park. “Oh, look! That’s they wee things from the TV adverts. Annette, where do they come…

  • Ah, Tripoli…

    Mum and I are sitting watching the news from Libya. Mum: Tripoli? I thought that was in America. Me: No, Mum. That’s in Libya. Mum: There was an American film made about it – The Shores of Tripoli. Me: Never heard of it, but America does make films about different places. Mum: But it was…

  • Tea Cup Dog

    Mum and I were in the newsagents where a cute Jack Russell jumped up at us, tail wagging happily. We paid for our paper and left the shop. Me: Mum, that was a friendly wee dog, wasn’t it? Mum: You want a cup of tea? Me: No, I’m talking about the dog. Mum: Oh, I…

  • Answering the Phone

    We came from holiday to find mum had unplugged the router, lamp and Hifi. Me: Why did you unplug everything, Mum? Mum: The phone was ringing and I couldn’t find it. There was a noise coming from in here too (we have cordless phones & a traditional one) so I unplugged stuff till it stopped. Me: That…

  • Bargain

    I took my mum to TKMaxx Mum: Annette, Annette, look at this! It’s only £6! Me: What is it? Mum: Dunno, but it’s only £6!

  • Email

    The phone rings: Mum: I sent you an email. Me: Mum, you don’t have a computer. Mum: No, on the phone. Me: Ah, you left a phone message? Mum: That’s what I said.