funny
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The Nettie Thomson Compliment Method
Imagine the scene: your friend comes over to show you her new dress. She tries it on and asks what you think. You look at her, standing in front of the mirror like an over-stuffed viscose sausage, the yellow of the fabric making her skin look like she’s in the throes of liver failure. What…
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The Doctor Will See You Now…
It’s a lovely day today, isn’t it? Not exactly hot, but mild and the seaside smell has permeated the whole house. I left to go to Campbeltown to pick up my prescriptions and get some shopping in. We parked and while George headed to Boots for me, I went to The Factory Shop to see…
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No one expects…
Another Tesco trip, this time with my daughter as well as mum. Mum: So, will you remember to order one of they nighties from Markies for me? Me: Yes, Mum. I’ll do it tonight. Mum: I’ve got loads of pyjamas, but I don’t
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Jam
[tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] Mum: I need jam. Me: Ok, what kind? Mum: Peach. Me: Peach?
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Alan
[tweetmeme source=”nettiewriter” http://www.URL.com] When we first lived together, my then fiance and I had a top floor flat in a tenement in Shawlands, Glasgow. The front windows looked out over Pollok Park. We had nothing facing us and we never bothered with curtains. In the summer it was so bright we had to wear sunglasses indoors,but we…
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Tea Cup Dog
Mum and I were in the newsagents where a cute Jack Russell jumped up at us, tail wagging happily. We paid for our paper and left the shop. Me: Mum, that was a friendly wee dog, wasn’t it? Mum: You want a cup of tea? Me: No, I’m talking about the dog. Mum: Oh, I…
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Answering the Phone
We came from holiday to find mum had unplugged the router, lamp and Hifi. Me: Why did you unplug everything, Mum? Mum: The phone was ringing and I couldn’t find it. There was a noise coming from in here too (we have cordless phones & a traditional one) so I unplugged stuff till it stopped. Me: That…